Parental Rights

Yesterday, during an unannounced visit, my children’s father in a heated conversation exclaimed he has the same rights as me in discussion of the children.  I agree that many non custodial parents do deserve the same rights and equal rights.  I also believe their are many custodial parents that do things to the extreme to be difficult.  Also this is not a discussion complaining of all the challenges of single parenthood nor does this pertaining to every situation.  This is mostly for the ones that try to steer away from their parental responsibilities.  I enjoy the life I have chosen and I am not complaining about what it takes for me to be a single parent.  Again this is not about revoking dead beat parent rights, But what about the rights of a single parent…

We don’t have the right to say ” I don’t have the money” or “I can’t do that right now ”

We don’t have the right to say “I’m on my way” and never show up,

We don’t have the right to have a small portion of our income designated for the children,

We don’t have the right to visit at our convenience,

We don’t have the right to do as little as possible and still legally have equal rights,

It seems as if non custodial parents don’t realize the sacrifice custodial parents make.  Its difficult enough to juggle relationships, work and/or school not including the regular care of home and family alone.  With all that, threats of court, “I don’t have it right now”, “fathers” doing things at their own convenience.  How do these parents expect to prove they are responsible to care for a child when they can easy say I can’t do that right now, don’t call for weeks, don’t makes plans to see them for weeks, and just don’t play a stable role in the child’s life. Its not fair that a non custodial parent can disappear and reappear wit the same equal rights as the parent that is there.  Raising a child is not a job that is meant for one person, yet many of us find ourselves in that situation.  I wish parents could compromise and agree to what is best for the children.  In my case I don’t want to keep my children from their father, all I want is peace and respect.  Respect that I have work, school and the care of two toddlers alone, respect to call before you come because that’s a right that was giving up along time ago. I know many single parents would love a break but who can fully trust their child with someone that is quick to say what they can’t do and won’t do.


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