Where does the Push End and The Hopelessness Begin

A couple days, ago I read about a father suing the city over the drowning death of his three children after the mother drove herself and four of her children into a lake.  Being curious, I googled the story of the mother.  As I read about the 24-year-old single mother of four I grieved for her.  The loss of the children is saddening but the mother feeling this was her only choice is tragic.  Still, I grieved for this mother.  I read that she was a good mother, loved and cared for her children, she  worked and attended school.  She loved, raised and took care of her children as best she could.  She was generally happy; the children happy and healthy.  And I grieved for her.  She was me, and I was she.  I’ve never imagined hurting my children, they are my push. Yet, the story of her life sung a familar song. I begun thinking what is the breaking point and how can one know if someone is nearing it.

In the past year I have read about a mother burning down an apartment with her children in it, a mother committed suicide in a truck leaving a note that son is safe but his whereabouts are still unknown, a mother of 2-year-old twins slaughtered them with a sword, a psychiatrist shot her ten-year old son because of school costs for his special needs school and now this mother of four drowning herself and children.  All were good loving, nurturing, hard-working single mothers.  What makes the push end and the overwhelming feeling  of hopelessness begin.  What are the signs?  Is it possible to intervene when someone is in Supermom mode and help them so to release so they don’t break.  It’s not easy as a single parent.  Parenting can become over whelming for two parents sharing responsibility, and at times overbearing for a single parent managing raising children and finances.  Low wages, job loss or reduction, high daycare cost and high living expenses make it even more mentally straining.  In some cases their support system, may actually be the largest part of the stress.  The people closest can be the most judgemental and stressful to deal with.

I read the comments and people asked why didn’t she leave the kids with her family.  I begun to think, if I was unable to care for my children what could possibly happen.  My mom always says she would be the one to care for them.  I thought, how would she?  I can’t afford enough life insurance to help with the cost of raising my children, how would she get daycare, would they immediately stop my subsidized care, could she afford daycare, diapers, clothes, and all the things they need, would they become ward of the courts, would their father get them and seriously care for them, would they have to go to foster care or be separated.  I thought about all this and realized and understood.  I, however,  have decided to keep pushing.

Approximately 12 million women in the United States experience clinical depression each year and about one in every eight women can expect to develop clinical depression during their lifetime.  Depression is a serious disorder that can heavily affect every aspect of your daily life.  It is more common in woman although it can affect men as well.  How many children have to die, before we realize that Depression in its many forms is real and it affects real people.


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